THE RIGHT WAY OF LISTENING AND TALKING

If you apply basic communication rules, you can have good relationships in your professional and private life.

Here you can find ways for the right listening and talking. Applicable for the office, in private or when playing 20Bet bonus.

 Listen properly: Pay attention not only to verbal, but also non-verbal expressions. Body language (gestures, facial expressions and posture) reveals a lot about the other person. When your counterpart has finished speaking, countdown inwardly from ten before you answer. This gives you an opportunity to reflect on what you have said (and seen). You can reflect on your answer and the person you are talking to can think about whether they would like to add anything.

 Pay attention to your body language: It is also important to be aware of your own nonverbal communication while you are listening. Try to remain relaxed and not «interrupt» the other person through your gestures or facial expressions. For example, a visible frown can be a relatively strong nonverbal expression.

 WHAT NOT TO DO

 Distractions, unpleasantness and your perception

The following three principles are also important for implementing Deep Listening in everyday life:

Avoid distractions: Deep Listening requires your full attention. So if you want to listen «deeply» to others, you should create a setting where it’s really just about the conversation. Then turn off your cell phone, TV, laptop, and radio and find a place where you will be undisturbed.

Hold off on unpleasantness: Since your goal with Deep Listening is to fully engage with another person, you should expect that this may become uncomfortable. For example, with mindful listening you will also be able to better perceive when tensions, fears or anger arise. Instinctively, we often try to interrupt the speaker to change the subject or suggest solutions to a problem. In such situations, you should practice simply noticing instead of interrupting. Only then will the other person have the opportunity to speak freely and feel heard.

Share your perceptions: When the other person has finished, you can share what you heard and what you felt about the other person. It is important not to slip into giving advice or expressing your own feelings. Rather, the point is to show the other person that you were paying attention and to give them the opportunity to correct you about your observations or to build on them.

So Deep Listening can be exhausting and uncomfortable at times. But it’s worth it: you give another person the good feeling of being truly heard and accepted. This can create the basis for learning from each other, sharing new experiences, and broadening each other’s perspectives.

POST INQUIRIES

According to Freiburg University Hospital, asking follow-up questions is also an important communication rule. It is worthwhile to repeat what your conversation partner has said in your own words or to summarize it briefly. Afterwards, you can ask specific questions, such as «What did you mean?» or «Did I understand that correctly?» to find out whether you understood what your conversation partner said as it was meant. Your interlocutor will then either agree with you or correct you. In this way, you will find a common basis for your conversation.

If, for example, you receive feedback from your employer about the way you work, you can ask specific questions to find out whether you have understood what you can do differently in the future in order to work more effectively or to better fulfill your customers’ wishes.

LISTEN ATTENTIVELY

The most important communication rule for understanding your counterpart and correctly classifying what is being said is to listen attentively. Be careful not to interrupt your conversation partner and avoid distracting factors, such as a ringing cell phone.

Through your body language, you can signal to your counterpart that you are listening attentively to his or her words. This works, for example, through eye contact, occasional nodding, a facing posture or through confirming statements. This applies to conversations with bosses and colleagues as well as with friends or partners.